So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
