So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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