Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
