and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize