so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
