Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
