Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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