Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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