belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
