Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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