You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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