we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
