My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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