the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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