I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
