She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
