Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i came on her dog
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
