She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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