Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
