Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
