Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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