me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
