what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i would punch a child for taco bell
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize