Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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