Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
