Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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