Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
