FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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