Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
