I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
