You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When are your genitals available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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