I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
