Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you will always have a special place in my vag
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
What drink are we having for lunch?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public