I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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