At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
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Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...