I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you will always have a special place in my vag
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
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I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
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THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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