Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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