Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
True college students do jello shots in the library
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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