You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
