So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
