Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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