It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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