What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
