i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
