1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
