haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
