I never want to see another naked old woman again.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
