i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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