I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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