some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
