Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
