Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
