I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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