I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
