umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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