I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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