He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize