as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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