I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
