Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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