How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
